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Vision board 2027A moodboard and video with youThe grandchildren are in Poland, Germany or Canada, Grandma and Grandpa are in Ukraine, and they mostly see each other on a screen. The child grows up, answers more and more often in Polish or German, and the calls shrink to “hi, how are you, bye.” The bond doesn't disappear because of that; it just has to be kept up differently from when Grandma lived two stops away. Below are practical ways for children from two to twelve: video call rituals, Ukrainian at home without pressure, letters and a shared album, a recorded grandmother's voice, and holidays you can celebrate together from a distance.
The short answer
The bond between grandchildren abroad and Grandma in Ukraine is held not by long conversations but by small things that repeat. A video call on the same day and with a shared activity: a story, a drawing, a recipe, a “treasure of the week.” Ukrainian at home, where Grandma becomes the main reason to speak it. Letters and drawings by mail, a shared photo album, recorded stories from Grandma, and holidays both sides celebrate on the same day. A child doesn't need to be told that Grandma matters. A child needs to have habits of their own with Grandma.
Why the “so, how are you?” call bores kids
For adults, conversation is interesting in itself. For a four- or seven-year-old, it's hard to answer “what's new at school” to a person they see only on a screen: the child doesn't know where to start and runs off to play after a minute. Grandma gets hurt, the parents shame the child, and the next call starts with tension.
Children hold on to an activity, not a conversation. When a call has a shared task, Grandma stops being the one the child “has to tell things to” and becomes the one who is fun to be with. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) calls video calls with relatives not screen time but relationship time, and advises tying them to familiar routines: meals, reading, favorite toys nearby. And calling regularly, at the same time.
With the youngest, an adult nearby helps. According to AAP explanations, from about 18 to 24 months children begin to understand that the face on the screen is a real person in another home, not someone inside the phone. Before that, Mom or Dad point, name and comment: “look, Grandma is holding the cat.” That is how a toddler learns to look at the screen together with you.
Video call rituals kids look forward to
One activity per call and one regular day, for example Sunday after breakfast. Turn off the TV, silence extra notifications and begin with the activity, leaving the questions for the end.
1A story from Grandma
Two identical books: one with the grandchild, one with Grandma. Grandma reads, the child turns the pages of their copy and shows where the hero is now. Read long stories a chapter a week, and the child will be the one reminding you about the call, because they want to know what happens next.
2A shared drawing
Grandma and the grandchild each draw the same thing at their own place: autumn, a cat, the house where Grandma lives. Fifteen minutes later they show each other. Drawing well isn't required, quite the opposite: kids love it enormously when the grown-up's cat comes out crooked.
3Cooking from one recipe
Syrnyky (cottage cheese pancakes), vareniki (dumplings), cookies. The ingredients are bought ahead, and the phone is set up in the kitchen so the hands are visible. Grandma shows how to shape them, the grandchild repeats, and at the end both taste their own. Write the recipe in a separate notebook: within a year you will have a family recipe book.
4Treasure of the week
During the week the child finds one thing to show Grandma: a chestnut, a pebble from the beach, a lost tooth, a school certificate. Grandma shows her own treasure too: the first tomato from the garden, a new cup, the neighbors' kittens. A five-minute conversation, and the child spends the whole week looking for something to find.
5A home tour
Grandma carries the phone around the yard, shows the garden, the cat, the spot where Mom played as a little girl. The grandchild shows their street, the park, the school from outside. Children born outside Ukraine learn where they come from this way, with no lessons at all.
6A game for two
Riddles, “guess the sound,” “what disappeared from the table,” “find something red in the room.” For toddlers, peekaboo: Grandma hides behind her palms, and it's funny every time. Games that need no preparation save the day when nobody has the energy for anything more.
How to keep Ukrainian when the child switches to the local language
Almost every family abroad sees the same thing. In kindergarten or school the child quickly picks up Polish, German or English, and then starts answering at home in it too. This isn't stubbornness or your mistake: the language of the classroom and the playground is simply stronger. Specialists at the American Speech-Language-Hearing Association (ASHA) write that several languages do not confuse a child or delay their speech, and mixing languages is a normal part of that path.
The best motivation to speak Ukrainian is Grandma. Not “you have to, because you're Ukrainian” but “Grandma doesn't understand Polish, tell her yourself.” Ask Grandma to speak only Ukrainian with her grandchild, even if she knows other languages. And not to correct every mistake but calmly repeat it correctly: “did you see the bunny? I saw the bunny too.” For a child, speaking matters more than speaking without errors.
Simple things help at home: books, songs and cartoons in Ukrainian, a bedtime story in Ukrainian even if everyone speaks another language during the day. Cities with a large Ukrainian community often have Saturday and Sunday Ukrainian schools run by community organizations and churches. For school-age kids, Ukraine's Ministry of Education and Science offers a Ukrainian studies component: a shortened distance-learning program in the Ukrainian language and literature and the history and geography of Ukraine, which can be combined with the local school. Look for current terms and enrollment on the ministry's website.
Letters, drawings and a shared album
The screen goes dark as soon as the call ends. What you can hold in your hands or look through a second time keeps the bond alive between calls.
7A letter to Grandma once a month
A real one, on paper, with a stamp. Preschoolers draw while the parents caption from the child's words, schoolchildren write themselves, even if it's three sentences with mistakes. Mail from abroad takes a long time, so don't tie the letter to a date: the ritual matters, not the day it arrives.
8A reply from Grandma
Ask Grandma to write back, even a postcard of two lines. For a child, their own envelope with their own name is an event. A sticker, a dried leaf from Grandma's garden or a photo of the cat inside, and the letter will be read aloud by the whole family.
9A shared album online
One cloud album where both sides add photos. The grandchildren add school, holidays, new shoes; Grandma adds the vegetable garden, the neighbors, her pies. No writing is needed, just scrolling. Ask Grandma to add her own shots too, and then it's not a news feed about the grandchildren but a shared place.
10A separate chat: “Grandma and the Grandkids”
No adult news, utility bills or politics, only the grandchildren, Grandma and Grandpa. Voice messages instead of text while the child doesn't read, a photo of the day, “good night,” a short video from the yard. The child gets used to having their own conversation with Grandma, and in time writes there on their own when something interesting happens.
Record Grandma's voice and her stories
Grandchildren growing up far away rarely hear Grandma's stories at the table the way you did. So they are worth recording while there is someone to tell them. The simplest way is voice messages: one question a week from the grandchild and a one- or two-minute answer from Grandma. What she was like as a little girl, what she played, how she met Grandpa, what Mom was like as a child.
Ask Grandma to read a few stories and lullabies onto the phone. The child will listen to them before bed, when Grandma is already asleep, and her voice becomes part of the evening, not only of the call. Record separately how she sings the song she once sang to you. In twenty years that recording will be the most precious thing in the family archive.
Keep everything in two places, on the phone and in the cloud or on a computer. Name the files with a name, a topic and a year, for example “Grandma Nina - how she went to school, 2026.” Then many years from now the grandchildren will find the right story in a minute.
Holidays from a distance: St. Nicholas, Christmas, birthdays
A shared holiday holds a bond stronger than an ordinary call, because it has preparation, anticipation and a memory afterward. In Ukraine St. Nicholas Day is now marked on December 6 and Christmas on December 25, although some families keep the old dates. In Poland, Germany and Czechia St. Nicholas is also awaited at the start of December, so a child can meet him twice: at school and at home, “from Grandma.”
For St. Nicholas, Grandma can write a letter as if passed along through the saint: what she knows about her grandchild, what she is proud of, what she wishes for him. In the evening both sides set out a shoe at the same time, and in the morning they show each other what they found. On Christmas Eve, sit down to the table at the same hour as Grandma, put kutia (the traditional wheat dish) on both tables, and sing carols together on the video call.
Birthdays are simpler than they seem. Grandma “arrives” on the call at the moment the cake is brought out, and sings with everyone. And for Grandma's birthday the grandchildren prepare ahead, as they would if they lived nearby: a drawing, a poem, a song from kindergarten.
Gifts that connect the generations
At a distance, the gifts that work best are the ones that remind you of the other side every day, not just on the day you give them.
11Matching items
Two identical mugs, two identical teddy bears, two identical blankets: one at Grandma's, one with the grandchild. For a small child, “Grandma has the same teddy bear right now” is a very concrete bridge, especially when the bears greet each other on the call.
12A countdown calendar to the visit
If a trip to Grandma or her visit is already planned, make a calendar with little windows with the child, or a chain of paper rings, and take off one a day. The faraway “we'll go to Grandma's in summer” becomes a daily ritual, and the child counts the days on their own.
13A book: “Grandma Tells”
Gather Grandma's recorded stories, write out the best ones and print them together with old photos and the grandchildren's drawings. It's a gift to Grandma and to the grandchildren alike: her childhood, which they would otherwise never see.
14A cartoon where Grandma, Grandpa and the grandchildren are the heroesfrom €31
A personal cartoon in Ukrainian from your photos and family story: how Grandma taught her grandson to make vareniki, how they fed the ducks on the pond together, how the grandson first came to stay with her for the summer. The child sees themselves next to Grandma in one story and can rewatch it as often as they like. At Milodia the heroes are drawn from photos, you see the sketch free before paying, the short format is from €31, it's ready in 48 hours, and the film arrives as a link. See how it looks
What to avoid
Don't make the call a duty along the lines of “first talk to Grandma, then cartoons.” The child will quickly learn that Grandma is the line before the nice part. If there's no mood today, a short “hi, bye” and a promise to call tomorrow are better than twenty minutes of silence.
Don't shame the child about language or compare them with other grandchildren who “speak Ukrainian so nicely.” Shame makes children go quiet, not start speaking. And gently ask Grandma not to say in every call “have you forgotten us already?” She is sad, and that is natural, but the child feels guilt they don't know what to do with. It's better if Grandma says how glad she is of every call.
Frequently asked questions
How often should grandchildren call Grandma so it doesn't get tiresome?
Regularity matters more than length. It's better to call briefly once or twice a week on the same day than for an hour once a month. For a toddler, a few minutes with a shared activity is already a full call, and a schoolchild will last longer if the conversation has a game, a recipe or a “treasure of the week.”
My child answers Grandma in Polish or German. What should I do?
Don't scold and don't demand. Let Grandma speak Ukrainian and calmly repeat the child's phrase correctly, without comments. Mixing languages is a normal stage for a child growing up with two languages. What helps most are books, songs and cartoons in Ukrainian at home and a real reason to speak it, such as a grandmother who otherwise won't understand.
At what age does a child understand that Grandma on the screen is real?
According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, from about 18 to 24 months children begin to understand that the person on the screen really exists and lives in another home. AAP does not prohibit video calls with relatives even for the youngest and considers them relationship time, not screen time. It helps to have an adult nearby who points and names what is happening on the screen.
How do I celebrate St. Nicholas with the grandchildren if Grandma is in Ukraine?
A letter from Grandma, as if passed along through St. Nicholas, a shoe that both sides set out on the evening of December 5, and a call on the morning of the 6th to show who found what. If you want a special gift, a cartoon where Grandma is also a heroine will fit. There are more ideas in our article on St. Nicholas gifts for kids.
Grandma isn't good with a smartphone. How do we stay in touch?
Set everything up for her once: large type, one messenger on the home screen, your contact in favorites. Ask a relative or neighbor to show her how to answer a video call. If she has no smartphone at all, ordinary calls, letters by mail and recordings of her voice made during a visit remain.
What can Grandma give the grandchildren so it reminds them of her?
Something with her voice or presence in it: recorded stories, a matching toy, a book of her stories, a cartoon where she and the grandchildren are in one story. At Milodia such a cartoon is made in Ukrainian from family photos, and the child can rewatch it as often as they like.
